Protect Birth

I am struck, today, by how hostile the environment of giving birth is becoming in my home state. Not only struck, but saddened, confused, and downright pissed off.

This summer I have had one client already leave the state to give birth because she felt like her chances of having a natural birth in the hospital here were slim to none. I have another client whose due date is evermore impending still undecided on her birth plans because she is a VBAC mom and her choices are, well zero.

Having a VBAC in Mississippi is becoming next to impossible. One hospital in the Jackson metro area has banned VBAC’s and I feel sure more will follow suit. Not only this, but the ONE doctor I trusted to refer my clients to for hospital births has become owned by the insurance companies. He doggedly pushes the AFP test and is cracking down on VBAC moms. The newest policy I’ve heard in place is that he requires an epidural catheter to be in place as soon as mom is in the hospital laboring. Doesn’t have to be active, but the needle must be inserted and ready to go.

I am appalled that women are being forced to choose to travel out of state in order to have the birth choices that are rightfully theirs. Even worse, there are women who are limiting their family size because they are afraid of having to fight simply to give birth!

For a while, the birth climate in Mississippi was looking up. Today I am wondering what it will take for us to have the rights and choices we deserve. As a woman who fought to get what the birth I wanted and fought to give that to other women, I am forced to consider how much worse can it get before it gets better?

What if every woman with a scar across her belly stood up and said “NO MORE!” What if every woman with a virgin womb stood up and said “You will NOT tell me how to birth the children yet to enter this body!” What if every woman with milky breasts, crayon colored walls, stained shirts, and tangled hair said “I am in charge of my births!”

Would “they” listen? Would the men who decided we needed them to interfere in the birth process to begin with hush us back and “tsk” at our silly cries for attention? Or would they sit, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, and stare at the brazen revolutionists they’ve made us become?

I hear all of the abortion debates, “Get your laws off of my body!” and “It’s a baby, not a choice!” Why don’t I hear the birth cries, “Get your laws out of my uterus!” or “It’s MY baby, MY birth, MY body!!”

I’m screaming it. I’m screaming it to anybody that will listen.

Are you?

I was reading a post this morning on a spiritual forum. The poster was talking about the current negative state of our world and said something interesting: war cannot be ended by war. Now, I personally am extremely supportive of our troops and of the concept of freedom. I do not say OUR freedom because we are not free anymore, anyone who thinks we are is sadly deceived. Anyway, I digress. Without debating the morality of war, I have plenty of thoughts about, or at least around, her statement I’d like to get out.

I believe what she says. War cannot be ended by war. Just like in parenting, you cannot teach a child not to hit by hitting them, aka spanking. In examining the state of the world, though, I am inclined to agree that our negativity and negative energies play a large part in the violence and negative events. But, I believe that our negative energies begin much earlier in life.

A labor assistant I used to work with loved the saying “Peace on earth begins with birth.” Even though I have never had much for hokey little rhyming sayings such as that one, I happen to deeply agree with it. We talk about a world without violence and war, without crime where people’s rights are truly respected. How can we ever expect this to happen, though, when we begin so many lives with violence?

Babies across the globe are violently pulled from their mother’s womb without reason. They are brought into the world by force and on days they did not choose. We schedule our babies birthdays around convenience, like we are planning a party or something. We treat our new lives as if they have no consciousness, as if they are unaware.

Now, I know there will always be situations where babies have to be born by force. I understand that fully. But, the cold, hard truth is that the majority of babies this is happening to is happening out of convenience or fear instead of necessity. I believe with everything that is in me that until babies are treated with respect not only after birth, but before and during, then our current state of affairs will not begin to turn around. Until the majority of births are gentle and the minority are not, then there will never be a different world. Imagine a world where babies are birthed by confident women in secret places without cold instruments surrounding them and even touching them. Imagine babies who aren’t pulled on as they enter the world, who do not breathe blood from their entranceways being cut through surgery or episiotomies. Imagine a world where each baby is immediately held by his or her mother, to smell her and breathe her in.

I know what you’re going to say. We’re talking about babies, who cannot do anything for themselves. How could a baby change the world? But, babies are only babies for fleeting moments in time. These babies will grow up and be our country’s leaders – our world’s leaders. If we continue to teach violence and the violation of their rights at birth, how can we ever expect them not to carry this into adulthood? Peace on Earth really does begin with birth.

Birth has taught me some of my greatest lessons in life. My others, not surprisingly, have been learned through love and parenting. But today, today I want to talk about birth.

Since I started birth work in 2002, I have come to view all naturally occurring things in the world through the eyes of birth. I look at butterflies and think of birth, I look at trees and think of birth. Everything has a beginning, and all beginnings are a birth. Something I figured out almost instantly doing birth work is that we live the way we are born. And why wouldn’t we? Our entrance into this world is the first imprint on our consciousness. As hokey as it may sound, we spend the entire rest of our lives trying to recreate this first imprint in some way or another.

Because I am adopted, I didn’t know anything about my own birth until a little over 5 years ago. Then I found out that my biological mother had to push a long time with me and I just wouldn’t be born. Then I decided to come and came all in one fell swoop, so quickly that the doctor almost didn’t catch me. Now, ask anyone who knows me well and you’ll find out I’m eternally late, and I am incapable of making a quiet entrance. I always arrive with a gust of energy surrounding me. Likewise, I go through life in much the same way. I procrastinate to the point of it being scary, then at the last minute, I frenzy it done.

Some things about birth simply cannot be changed. Some babies will make whatever entrance they are going to make, we cannot control that in any way (nor should we want to). But why on earth do we feel the need to control so much about welcoming a tiny soul into our lives? When did birth become so unnatural that we feel the need to rush into the gloved hands of the doctor and the monotonous sound of the machines that go beep at the first sign of a contraction?

We must protect birth. Because we live how we are born. Because peace on birth begins with birth. Because babies are incapable of protecting themselves. Because it’s time we took our power back. Because birth is the most powerful healer in our realm. Because She-Ra woman power really does exist. But mostly…

Because birth is sacred…

We are a strong species, the fairer sex.  We are looked at as the less strong, the needy, etc…when that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  We are stronger than any man I’ve ever met.  And really, I completely understand why the oldest religions worshipped the feminine.  We should be worshipped.

I bear the image of Isis on my right shoulder blade.  She is the mother goddess, the goddess of the feminine.  I wear her permanently on my body as a reminder of just how strong we are.  I see her strength in each women I am blessed enough to serve.  I see her strength in myself.  I am proud of being a part of this fairer sex.

I told someone close to me last year that I found pain to be the most beautiful state of existence.  This is because of the strength of these women.  My job is to be with women in pain.  Not to sit with them and cluck and pity their pain.  My job is to actually be present with them, to share their energy and let them know they are not alone in what they are experiencing.  A woman in pain will open her soul to you at the exact moment she wants to shut down, if you will be present with her.  It is at the point I see strength, without fail.  And it is beautiful.

My heart is full from the strength of birth, of the feminine.  And once again I remember why I do what I do.